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As I lay me down in death
I pray the Lord to steal my breath
And keep it somewhere safe and warm
Until this soul can be reborn

And if I wake before I die
I give Thee leave to take my life

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Every think of it this way? Or am I the only one?

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Submitted on
June 25, 2011
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:iconcountchristoph:
Very nice, though I would suggest changing "steal" to "take", since it is more in-keeping with the original. Otherwise, well done; I normally don't like too much off-rhyme, but it works oddly well here.
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:icongolden-leaves:
~Golden-Leaves Aug 16, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
I can see your point of view, although I avoided using that word, because I didn't want repetition of "take." Thank you, though. :)
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:icongothiquequeen:
Wow that's one of the awesomest things I've ever read ^~^ You're such a great writer!
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:icongolden-leaves:
~Golden-Leaves Jun 25, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
oh, thank you :)
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